Monday, June 30, 2008

On Pets

I have often been asked, "Are you a cat person or a dog peron?" .

First of all, my head makes it sound something like, " Are you a batman or a spiderman?", which sends me in an instant to a state whacky laughter, while the more socially aceptable side of me tries to wrestle with my muscles, making me look like a confused retard more than anything else.
Secondly, and more importantly, the question invariably pops into my head, " Why would anyone be a cat person?"

Dogs kick cat-butt on most grounds.
I can conclude just this about cat lovers: Either they're scared of dogs, or they don't like that canines can be a little unclean, or they're plain queer and prefer to have thankless creatures as pets.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Whacking day

This is about a particularly miserable day at IISc.

Come quick!
The Dark Lord does beckon.
Relocate your slothful self.
Mercy he shall show today, I reckon.

Chapter one
Idiots! What have you done?!
Shabby comebacks,
Bruised ego.
(Mumble mumble)
Off with their heads!

Persons few,
(Precisely two)
Thou asketh who they be?
Can't say. Won't dare!
Alright here's a hint:
One of them's a friend of someone who's a friend of me.

A day killed,
Well, half at least
Meandering, disguised mostly,
Away from watchful eyes.

Noon comes, not alone though.
Brings Him to us for good
And come with Him does His minion,
Watching, waiting,
Ready to strike with taunting tongue.

Crack! Crack of the whip.
A forked tongue tastes the air,
"He treats you well",
The minion doth quip.

Noxious fumes, vision spiralling.
'A drink would do good, perhaps'

Deluded thought, that might have been,
Tasted not-so-bad, but it still stings!
Sardonic snigger, sadistic.
Nearly choked, he did!
Hope, momentary deception
"Slave away!", the Dark Lord sings.

The sun has gone down,
'Tis time to rest,
Lest the Devil
Puts them to another test.

Pleading tones.
Relentless scoff.
(With orders for next morn.)
And as his slaves, obey they must.

And obey they will, (willingly almost)
And go to sleep.
For know do they,
(Like most today,)
That as they sow
So will they reap.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Reductio ad absurdum

Reductio ad absurdum, Lat. : Reduction to the absurd

The classic proof by contradiction. The following proves that the universe may not exist.
Caution: Not for the weak-minded.



A thought experiment:


Let the universe exist, and let us exist in it.


  • Consider two human beings : specimen 'A' , that can distinguish between colours the way "normal" humans are expected to, and specimen 'B' who, from birth, sees only in shades of "grey", but can nevertheless, differentiate between colours from the shade of "grey" that he perceives. Note that B does not know what colour would look like to A, and has no way of finding out without swapping memories, and thus assumes that A sees as he does. Vice- versa. Now, present each of them with a colour, say "blue", and ask them what colour it is. Each will say blue, despite the fact that their perceptions are completely different!(If you don't follow, start with a human being and a talking dog.)
  • Extending this to beings in general, it is possible, that each of us would see the colour blue differently, but would still call it blue. That being said, it is possible that the universe looks different to each of us, just that when we describe it in a common language, descriptions by different people may be coherent despite a possible incoherence in perception.
  • Let me take the same argument and push it over the boundaries of colour, and into those of sight in general. And then to the other four senses. Therefore, the universe might be perceived differently by different observers.
  • Now, let us go back to the assumption that the universe exists and we live in it. Being inhabitants of the same universe, we must all receive the same stimuli. And since there can be an infinitely large number of observers, there can thus be infinitely large number of perceptions. (One for each observer at the least.)
  • Now, we have an event( the existence of the universe), and an infinite number of possible observations (an infinite number of observers with as many distinct perceptions of the universe). Basic probability kicks in: the probability of any one observation being true is zero, and since there are infinite possible disinct observations, none of them are true. This leads us to the conclusion that the event may never happen, the event in this case being the existence of the universe. ( I use the word "may" because the argument pivots on whether different observers have different perceptions.)
We can now make the statement : It is possible that the universe does not exist,which contradicts our initial assumption. Hence, our assumption must be incorrect.

Reductio ad absurdum, Lat :Reduction to the absurd

Hence, there is a finite probability that the universe does not exist. (And neither do we!).

Quad erad demonstratum.




Saturday, June 21, 2008

Monkeys on a tree

Well, there are only so many things that a guy can do during a two-and-a-half month long vacation, and here he is, writing his first web log(or blog, but I bet a lot of you didn't know that!) entry.

And the reason I'm here is, hmm... you could say it's primarily because a lot of the people I know are here, plus I hear that writing is good for you! It's funny how people who hang around together end up doing the same things even when they're not really hanging around.

Ever observed a tree of monkeys? They all look the same and seem to be doing the same things. Monkey see, monkey do. What's interesting is that when one of the monkeys decides to be a little bold, and jumps on to another tree, the other monkeys stare at it for a while, with this look of disbelief on their hairy faces, probably wondering, "What the heck is this one doing?". After some ooh-aah, the second boldest monkey decides it might be worth it and jumps across.
Monkey see, monkey do. Ten minutes later, all the monkeys have switched trees, leaving the first tree almost bare.

Three inferences:
1) Most monkeys are incapable of doing things without another monkey to guide.
2) Monkeys don't like to be alone on their trees, or jump trees alone.
3) Humans are remarkably like monkeys.

Kudos to the first monkey to jump the tree!

No animals were hurt in the production of this text.